Twilight: Eclipse

Movie Night Out: Twilight: Eclipse



Why we chose this film: I have a problem and its probably deep and psychological, but I have a hard time giving up on a series. Its just that I'm curious as to how it ends. So here we go again... round 3...

Beeps:  Oh, Twilight.  Why do I keep doing this to myself?  I think it's because I enjoy watching the main character, Bella, torture herself in 2 hour blocks.  After watching the 2nd movie abortion of a film, I promised myself that I was done with this franchise, yet here I was at the theater, Cherry Coke in hand, for this, the third movie.  I'm a straight forward type of guy.  If I'm in a love triangle, I don't dawdle about.  I make my choice and that's it.  It's not that easy for Bella Swan.  Oh no, she needs to drag it out, and be a total slut about it, all while hating herself for doing it.  Kristen Stewart was perfect for this role, I guess it had to be a chick, or Hayden Christensen would have auditioned, they both show about the same amount of emotion.  The one thing I will say about her, her face is almost constantly distorted into this I hate myself look, which I like.  I enjoy the fact that she's totally miserable, because I hate her... I loathe this character.  I spent time during this flick looking at the walls in the theater, because I was afraid that if I watched the screen, I might actually cut myself.  Unlike the last installment, this film does have a few highlights.  I love you Cullen family, except Edward.  I like Edward as a character, he has an air of charm and nobility about him, I hate the way he looks like he's always about to drop a deuce.  Jacob is a knob.  I'm solidly on team Edward.  I'd rather be on team Jasper/Alice, I love those 2.  Please god, just make a movie about them kicking ass.  Anyway, see you all at the next movie because like Bella, I hate myself too.  1 1/2 stars.

Apes: Lets just start by saying I will watch anything that Jacob is in as long as he is shirtless in all or almost all scenes. The movie on the other hand is painful... ok so you "Love" two guys... take some "me" time figure it all out then put your big girl panties on and make the decision. Let all parties know... quick like ripping a band aid off, or have an open ended relationship and FUCK the shit out of make sweet love to them both... well wine and dine with Edward and do it "doggy" style with Jacob. I can't take much more of Bella's destructive behavior and manic depressive moods. The rest of the Cullen's are awesome, interesting, and developing in to nice characters. As a film I give it 2 stars.... but Jacob gets a perfect 5... yummy!

Overall we give it 2 stars.

~Beeps and Apes